I have been super MIA on here and for a good reason – we’re having a baby!! As I start my maternity leave and come to the realization that in 4 short weeks our baby girl will be with us, it’s making me reflect on my entire pregnancy.
When women get pregnant, everyone thinks the process of pregnancy is glowing, wonderful, and the best 9 months of growing your tiny human and bonding, or at least that’s what I thought pregnancy would be. I can say that for most of my pregnancy, I did not enjoy the process. Now, before I go on, not enjoying the process does not mean I am not super grateful to be able to be pregnant, as I know a lot of women try and go through a lot of heartbreak. I feel extremely lucky and, realistically, we’ve had no complications, but I think normalizing that pregnancy isn’t all rainbows and butterflies is important.
Let’s rewind and start from the beginning. After being together for 8 years and married for nearly 2, we decided we wanted to start trying for a baby at the end of February 2021. We didn’t know how long it would take us or what our journey may look like. Fast forward to April 19 and 3 positive tests later, we found out we were pregnant! It was right at 4 weeks and I don’t know how, but I just knew before even taking the test. We were surprised it happened so quickly, terrified our lives were changing and so excited for our growing family.
The next 12 weeks were rough. I was sick almost every 2 days, nauseous constantly, and had no energy. The most I could eat was saltines (I ALWAYS needed to have some with me), Lipton noodle soup, and Kraft dinner. The thought of any meat was a no-go. My biggest cravings were apple juice and fruit loops. Oh and chocolate. Give me ALL the chocolate.
My second trimester got a little bit better but then I started getting sciatica pain and pelvic floor pain (which have since worsened). The second-trimester energy burst many women get, I did not. If anything I was more tired all the time. I wasn’t enjoying my pregnant body that was somewhere in between looking pregnant or just gaining weight. None of my clothes fit, but maternity clothing (which you can’t find in stores here) didn’t fit properly either. I definitely hit a mental low during this time. And to top it off, after my 20-week scan I was told I had “placenta blood lakes” which would need to be monitored and I would need to take it a bit easier.
Now that I’m in my third trimester, I’m starting to love my pregnancy body – hey bump, I see you! I’m sore, I have stretch marks like no tomorrow, and I’m tired all the time, but I’m enjoying the end of this journey. The kicks and moves that once made me feel uncomfortable I’m starting to love. Coming to the end of pregnancy, I want to enjoy every moment I have with her on the inside, enjoy every kick and squirm and enjoy the moments of just me and Chris.
I can’t wait to meet our little one, and I can now say (which I honestly didn’t think I would) that I’ll miss this experience.
*Photos by Jess Mclaren Photography